evenif

The Book: Excerpt

Wed, 08 May 2013 04:11:55 -0400

The scythe was in her hand. This power to destroy was held by her. And there was nothing else she could do. It was neither good nor evil that she committed. It was considered keeping the balance. She was forced into the job. And with no other choice but to exist as a reaper, she would continue to do as the scythe guided her to do. Heaven’s corporation watched over her as she took their lives. Sent them to the gates to be passed on.

In this particular moment though, as she walked unnoticed through the streets of another city, she wondered what might happen if she ignored the demands of the scythe for the death it sought. If she resisted its pull and turned around would she finally be relieved of her duties? What would happen to her though?

Her soul had already been decided upon. It was neither death nor life that she was given. As a reaper she existed in limbo. This gave her the ability to walk within heaven and hell and upon earth. But if she were to no longer wield the scythe, what would her existence then be? There was no more use for her. Only reapers were allowed limbo. The Gods chose carefully those who would take on the role of killer, who they gave access to walk every land, and if she were to turn her back on this fate, her very existence would be in jeopardy.

Her soul belonged to them. Upon the chosen day, her soul became the property of the Gods, whereas the ones who she took from earth were allowed to keep their souls as they passed through the gates of heaven or into the stairway that led to hell. The Gods needed something to ensure a reapers absolute submission. To ensure they would not abuse their scythe.

Knowing this she would continue to walk on, continue to follow the tasks she was given and continue to wield her weapon upon those who were written within the book.

Maybe one day the Gods would show mercy upon her soul. Return it to her and let her pass through the gates. If only one day were this day.

-ADA

The cat eye.

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 01:15:42 -0400

The cat eye.

Photo

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 17:34:14 -0500

Photo

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:49:26 -0500

Loneliness in a Crowd

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 15:34:00 -0500

Monotony. As was life it seemed. Her blank eyes stared out into an empty food court. This wasn’t an unusual day. There was never anybody around. Not even in the sense that there were a few people and it just seemed like nobody. There was literally never anyone. She wasn’t entirely sure why she stood behind this counter to serve people overpriced, knock-off Italian food when no one was around to buy it. It was just another day.

Coming home, she briefly registered the now empty sink. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she recalled there being dishes that needed to be washed. She brushed it off, read a book, then fell into a dreamless sleep.

Silence. As she walked the eerie streets of New York her mind tried to recall a time when there were others. Blank. She couldn’t remember. But what if there were other people? Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she stopped.

What was happening? Her phone never went off. There was never anyone to text her. Her contacts were empty. With a shaking hand she reached into her pocket, flipped open her phone and just stared. After a moment she pressed the button and read.

‘Tomorrow, 1pm, the cafe closest to your house.’

Her eyebrows knotted together in confusion and she slipped her phone back into her pocket. It had to be a fluke and she was late for work.

Later as she stared at the ceiling from her bed her mind wandered. It was lonely. This desolate world that only she existed in. It was a lonely world. It didn’t make sense that there wasn’t others. Flipping open her phone she reread the text. She hit reply and sent her response. Even if it was a fluke, why not visit the coffee shop? It’d be a nice change of pace and it always smelled so nice. It’d be a good way to spend her day off.

The next morning she was ready. She was ready and it was still ten in the morning. There was a flurry of emotions in her mind. What if someone else really did exist? What if there were other people out there? How did they get a hold of her number? She closed her eyes and held her head. This was just too much.

A faint buzz went off and her eyes snapped open. Standing abruptly from the chair she went into her room and grabbed her phone.

‘Are we still hanging out today?’

Her thumbs flitted over the keys and she snapped it shut to look at the time.

12:40

Stuffing the phone into her pocket she slipped on her coat, shut and locked the door, and made her way towards the coffee shop. Her heart was pounding and her head faintly hurt. She was in front of the cafe without even realizing it and her tremoring hand reached out for the door. It was now or never.

Pulling open the door she walked inside and her eyes moved about the empty shop. Empty except for one person, sitting in the shadows at a corner table.

Moving towards them, she pulled out a seat and sat down, her eyes focused on the table.

“Good afternoon. Glad you could make it.” Was what she heard them say as her hands twisted in her lap. She glanced up as a mug was pushed towards her. A brief smile came across her face and she lifted the hot cup to her lips.

“I’m glad to be here. I didn’t realize anyone else existed.” This was her response after she took a moment to cool her coffee.

Pleasant conversation went on for a while. A few laughs were shared and the experience of finding someone else to spend time with was something she hoped would happen again. As the day waned she realized she should be leaving. With a goodbye in hopes to see them again, she walked out into the brisk air. She watched as they too left, a silhouette in the setting sun. As they disappeared around the corner she flipped open her phone.

This was the easier way to say she had enjoyed their time. It seemed embarrassing to say it to their face. She erased the text she had started and decided she might do something else. Dialing the number, she put the phone to her ear and waited.

‘The number you have dialed is not in service.’

Standing there, staring at the sidewalk, she pulled the phone away from her ear, redialed the number and listened.

‘The number you have dialed is not in service.’

The headache returned full force. Her eyes hurt and it felt like her head was splitting in two. Everything seemed so loud. Her phone slipped from her hands as she pressed them into her ears. Shutting her eyes she tried to get rid of this obnoxious noise and hammering pain.

She stumbled forward as something pushed her and she dared to open her eyes.

A ray of sunlight glared at her and she squinted and turned around to see what had shoved against her.

The headache dulled and her eyes widened.

People.

People were everywhere. Cars were driving through the streets, people were weaving through each other to get to wherever they were going.The noise of talking, of traffic, of different things clanging together, of the bell on the coffee shop dinging as people went in and out. The sounds of a city full of life.

How had she been so blind. How could it be, this entire time spent being the only person in the world, of being lonely, of not seeing, how could it be that there had always been so many people?

They Told Us

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 00:35:00 -0500

They told us the world was made of gold. So we dug into the ground. They told us clouds were made of diamonds, so we built towers far up into the sky. They told us we could have anything we wanted. So we reached our hands into the galaxy. We sunk our fingertips into the very soul of the universe. Twisted and pulled… and in return we got nothing. Nothing we could see. But our minds were fuller. Our hearts were heavier. The physical emptiness compared nothing to what we now understood. Our very existence was small. The space we had to live, in the context of the universe, was insignificant. This home we had destroyed, the home we had used, that we had put our tools into, that we had built our skyscrapers upon, this was ours. To take care of, to grow upon, to die upon. This little speck in the vastness of space, we were responsible for. But in our search for gold and for diamonds, in our search for something more, we had ruined the only thing in the entire universe that was ours to nurture.

Photo

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 22:59:48 -0500

thwndryrstrng: why’s everyone complaining about the world ending? There’s no point in acting...

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 12:11:54 -0500

thwndryrstrng:

why’s everyone complaining about the world ending? There’s no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now

I’m sorry… it had to be done.

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 23:20:00 -0500

I’m sorry… it had to be done.

The Girl Who Knew

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 00:52:20 -0400

The Girl Who Knew

India Dubstep

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 00:44:00 -0400

India Dubstep

-Two eyes, both portals into different minds.

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 00:13:00 -0400

-Two eyes, both portals into different minds.

While in Germany I had always wanted to take a picture like...

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 01:47:45 -0400

While in Germany I had always wanted to take a picture like this. The thin, tall trees of the forests. Gazing deep into the depths, not being able to see the other end, wondering whats out there. Alas my camera was not meant for this kind of thing.

Lucerne was beautiful. Out of my entire tour of Germany and the...

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 23:06:45 -0400

Lucerne was beautiful. Out of my entire tour of Germany and the bit of Switzerland, sitting on that boat, that is the moment I will never forget.

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.”
-Glenn Clark

This.

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 22:59:05 -0400

This.

Photo

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:38:46 -0500

"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are..."

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:35:05 -0500

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

- Sigmund Freud (via misswallflower)

Video

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 02:30:34 -0500

How many times...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:58:00 -0500

How many times… let me say this one more time, how many times, do I have to remind people to do their research. To not blindly follow something, anything, without first knowing what you’re following. Just because you have a few little facts on it, doesn’t mean you should be completely for it. Learn what you’re following, understand what you believe in. Never take a stand on something with not first knowing and understanding every main point of view.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

"You are not your bra size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your..."

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:14:53 -0500

“You are not your bra size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things. You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”

- Unknown (via cityyandcolour)